Ashley's Atrium

So here I am, once again resurecting my blog. This has been coming for a long time, but I just haven't sat down and actually done it. Yet another thing I've been procrastinating. Though I have to ask myself just why I'm procrastinating something like a blog. I think it's because every time I start my blog up, I get so very deeply involved, and it becomes overwhelming. My OCD starts to kick in, and I feel like I HAVE to write about anything and everything that comes
to my mind. So I'm going to try not to do that this go-round.

As we're headed into a new year, and a new decade, I'm also entering a new phase in my life. So much is changing (for the better, I hope!) in my life, and I'd like to keep track of the goings-on that I experience. I want to keep a record of my life, for myself, and perhaps for my progeny (though they might be scared to learn that they come from an ancestor such as myself!) This is something I've wanted to do for a while, though, and I'm committed to do it! I'm hoping to contribute to my blog at least a few times a week. If I don't keep up with that goal, you have my permission to smack me (softly!) upside the head.

One of the reasons I really want to start my blog again, is one of the same reasons I've used every time I've started writing a blog/journal/diary/whatever. That reason is because I NEED to. I have the need to write my thoughts down, express my feelings, and just get things down on paper (or virtual paper, as the case may be.) Another reason I have for starting up my blog again is that my therapist(s) keep telling me to journal. Therapists use "journal" as a verb. I've never met a therapist that didn't suggest journaling. The catch is, it works. The trick of it is actually doing it. Some
of the most important times to sit down and scrawl out ones feelings is when things get intense. It's when I'm most upset, sad, mad, whatever, that writing down what I'm feeling helps the most. However, most of the time, I don't feel like writing my thoughts down. I just feel like screaming, or crying, or whatever else. During those times I often try to convince myself to pause a moment and write down what I'm feeling. More often than not I'm too stubborn to do so. I'm trying to change that though, hence, this blog.

That brings me to a conundrum I'm facing. Should I be totally open and honest in this blog? Should I keep some things private, or should I just bare my soul for all to witness? Should I write down everything, and then edit my writing before posting it to my blog?

Most of the time when I've blogged I've been open about almost everything. Most of the time that was okay because most of my readers didn't know me personally. The few that did know me, well, I was okay with their knowing everything I'd written about. It happened a few times though, that people I knew came across my blog. Ocassionally
this caused some problems. For instance, my ex boyfriend found my blog, and found out that I still had feelings for him. It turned into a big drama when some of his friends got involved, and yeah...don't think it was a good thing. I mean, perhaps it was a good thing that he found out, but perhaps not.

Then there were times I wrote about things like my sexual exploits. I wasn't graphic in my writings, but I did write about such private things that I probably shouldn't have. I guess I won't have that particular problem this go 'round since I'm not sexually active. But what about other private matters? Should my life be an open book? I've actually talked to my therapist about something similar. It used to be that I was an open book. I'd tell anyone anything, if they
asked; and sometimes when they didn't. My therapist said that's not healthy, or right. I can't remember exactly how she explained it. I'll have to ask her, and post about it. (If it's okay to post about it...maybe what my therapist says it too private? lol.)

So onto other matters. You may be asking yourself (and I'm sure you're dieing to know), what this blog is going to be about. Well, the answer is, everything. My thoughts, my ramblings, my interests, and whatever else I feel like writing about. I'll write about my daily life, what I'm experiencing, how I feel, etc. I'll also post about the things I do. That may be my artwork, a new recipe I've tried, or a new project I'm working on. I'll also be writing about things that I find interesting. Things like websites I find interesting, music or films I like, and other such things. I'll also write things to you, the reader. I may start discussions with you, ask questions or advice from you, etc. I'll even be doing fun things
like contests and giveaways. I'd also like to have some "guest writers" contribute to my blog. So you see, reading my blog will not only be entertaining, but rewarding! lol. Though uhm, if that's what you're here for, schwag, well then...alrighty. It doesn't really matter to me why you read. In fact, it doesn't really matter to me IF you, or anyone else for that matter, reads this blog at all. I'm not writing this blog for someone else; I'm writing it for myself. If
others find joy, entertainment, amusement, or anything else by reading this blog (though please, no creepy reasons for reading), then that's all the better!

So off we go, into the wild blue yonder. This should be an interesting journey.

Are we having fun yet?!

-Ashley